Constructing a Bacon-Cheese Turtleburger

Last week a friend sent me a link to a post on The Chive regarding a bacon-cheese turtleburger (thanks Paul!). The source for that article was a post from the blog Interwebs Randomness and Other Inspiring Tales. As soon as I saw the article I knew constructing a bacon-cheese turtleburger was in my future.

This afternoon I fulfilled that premonition.

Am I not turtley enough for the turtle club?

A ground beef patty topped with cheddar, wrapped in bacon, and decorated with hotdogs. After 30 minutes at 400° F the turtle was ready to migrate to a dinner plate.

The bacon-cheese turtleburger.

So how was this faux reptile? Well, I’m afraid the appearance is better than the taste. Some things are better when ingredients are prepared together. Some things are better when ingredients are prepared separately. This would be one of the times separation is a good thing.

I had two primary concerns about the turtleburger. First, the bacon was not uniform in its state of bakedness (my spell checker is appalled, my dictionary is disappointed, but that “word” just captures what I’m trying to say). Some parts were rubbery and chewy, some were burnt. Bacon that is fried correctly is exponentially better than poorly prepared bacon, so I had difficulty looking past the bacon inconsistency. My second concern was the amount of grease the turtleburger harbored. I tried blotting most of it out, but even my best efforts yielded poor results. It was a very greasy burger.

It was a noble experiment and most definitely worthwhile. That being said, it was probably my first and last bacon-cheese turtleburger. Turtleburger, the best goodbyes are short. Adieu.

The final moments of the bacon-cheese turtleburger.


1 Comment

Filed under Food

One response to “Constructing a Bacon-Cheese Turtleburger

  1. Paul B.

    Oh man, that was a good laugh. I had my doubts as to whether this would actually taste good or not. Props for trying though!

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