Heat Vision and Jack: Proof that Terrible can be Wonderful

One of my favorite YouTube videos is the pilot of a failed tv show called Heat Vision and Jack Ben Stiller made in the late 1990s. It stars Jack Black, Owen Wilson, Christine Taylor, and Ron Silver. The pilot opens with a monologue by Ben Stiller, which contains this wonderful line:

Ben Stiller: “As a person you admire, I’m giving you permission to appreciate this show.”

Heat Vision is Jack’s motorcycle, and he talks (voiced by Owen Wilson). Jack Austin (Jack Black) is a former astronaut with special cognitive powers. Ron Silver (as himself) is a hired gun, working for NASA to eliminate Jack. Here are a few bits of dialogue:

Heat Vision: “Jack, is that blood?”

Jack: “The blood of tomatoes.”

And Jack explaining his mental powers:

Jack: “Apparently the human mind is not unlike cookie dough. Mine was baked . . .”

Ron Silver is the Chuck Norris-like tough guy villain. In one scene a gun is pointed at him:

Ron Silver: “If I feel so much as one bullet hit me, I’ll come over there and pull your lungs through your nostrils.”

It’s painfully bad. Gloriously bad. Check it out:

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